i wrote this last year and am now back in Canada but i am too lazy to change my story.......
My name is Aaron Vanderhorst, but many people call me Ivo(my middle name). I am currently living in Beijing, China. Just teaching english and living the easy/strange life while i am here. I have lived almost all of my life in Nanaimo on Vancouver Island, Canada. Once i finish my gypsy ways, i am sure i will settle down somewhere around there. In the meantime I am just trying to see as much of the world as i can. I enjoy long romantic walks on the beach, with Lionel Ritchie playing in the background....
this pretty much explains my essence
I would have to say that Chuck Norris is a hero of mine. I dont really watch, like, or follow his work. But the fact that he still does it, I respect that and strive to be a tenth of the man that he is.
For the last 20 years of my life i have been having very vivid dreams of pole vaulting in international competitions. If they keep up for the next 6 months i may drop all of what i am doing and devote my life to pole vaulting. Just like Jesus Christ, but instead of devoting my life to god, i will devote mine to the lost art of the pole vault.
Interests
taunting animals, watching people run for their lives, heterosexuality, and throwing biodegradables at communists...truthfully though.. travel, fitness, history, and going to public places very drunk
Favorite Movies
Meet Joe Black, Apocalypse Now, A time to kill, Happy Gilmour, Fletch, Caddyshack, Vanilla Sky, Forrest Gump, Office Space, The football factory and various "Vivid" productions
Favorite TV Shows
Rescue Me, Trailer Park Boys, Pilot guides, threes company, Sopranos, Desperate Housewives
Favorite Books
Shogun, Soldate, Mr. Nice, Goat-herding for Dummies, Sacred Hoops, Mao
Timmy, Wills, and I were pondering how Ivo lost his virginity before his dad. Then we realized that he's an extraordinary person. Did you know that there are actually no disabled people in the world? Just people who messed with Ivo. His legal name has a cussword in it. He can divide by zero. He is the guy who was drinking tequila in the background of the fight scene in When Harry Met Sally.
this mofo needs his own reality t.v. show.... no relevant plot needed, no cheezy gimmicks, no theme or point even.... just feed him booze and keep the cameras rollin'.... dementia, involuntary bladder release, debauchery and hilarious are the words that come to mind.... he was Jack-ass 10 years before that shit even came out!...
he is also a fellow brother/godfather of the feared and respected "White Trash" regime (along w/ myself and Swanny bitch-ass).... one of my most favorite Ivo moments was when we lived on Neyland and he propped up a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Wayne Gretzsky w/ I HUGE 2 foot garlic sausage protruding from the pelvic area smothered in sour cream.... the bus had to stop and let people out toooo..... so then they stared in awe and disgust at the blasphemous acts committed on the cardboard hockey god..... this moment only capped further when a small dog (smaller than the sausage in fact) took off w/ the sausage.... w/ Ivo (who just got out of the shower) giving chase to it down the street only covered in a towel.... the dog got away w/ the sausage....
one of my least favorite Ivo moments was in grade 9 when we decided to camp on Rock City school playground all fucked up.... I passed out on the big bridge thingy and while passed out Ivo launched off the top of another whatever the fuck you call it, anyways, he landed on the bridge launching me (still passed out at the moment) into the air.... somehow I went on some matrix shit and landed on my feet like a cat and chased his ass for like 6 laps around the entire school @ like 5 in the morning.... skinny fooker was toooo fast that day (which is probably a good thing)....
anyhoooo...... I've known this mawfucka since kindergarten when he used to talk funny & he gets my vote as most hilarious evil genius w/ a rapists witt... on a sidenote he was also part of my grade 6 rap group which also included underground scene legend Scott "don't call me Walter" Poulter... sippi town on tha cappy chow.... sada tay!
Ivo is the type of guy I would love to see married to Sterlings sister. I also really enjoy watching him eat, its always a pleasure, i also like watching him sleep, do you want to know why you dream of pole vaulting horst!
The first time I met Aaron it was about 6 years ago late one night outside Ledgends in Victoria. I asked him what time it was, and he pulled out "THE ESQUIRE". (for the those of you who don't know the infamous "esquire", I encourage you not to ask him for the time) A couple of years later, when we were better friends, I met this guy named Brandon (who pissed on my cat at my birthday party outside my house). For some strange reason I tend to like weirdo's because he is now my boyfriend of 3 years, and Aaron and him are best friends! Thanks for the odd & interesting memories!
Ivo is the type of guy that I'd love to see married to my little sister. He is very good looking, fashion concious, funny, responsible and loyal. I can't say enough about the guy.........Best god-damned thing to come out of Holland since windmills.
English
